The Pressure to Be Perfect: How Perfectionism Affects Equestrian Athletes

Jenny Swanson, LICSW
Mar 3
4 min read

By: Jenny Swanson, EdD, LICSW, LCSW, CMPC

In the equestrian world, the pursuit of excellence is a constant. Whether it’s nailing the perfect round, the flawless execution of an equitation round, the idealistic form in a hunter derby, or striving for a clean dressage test, riders are often driven by high standards. But when the desire to improve turns into an obsession with perfection, it can become more harmful than helpful.

Perfectionism isn’t about wanting to do your best—it’s about believing that anything less than perfect isn’t good enough.

And for many riders, this mindset can create overwhelming pressure, anxiety, and even burnout. In this post, we’ll explore how perfectionism shows up in equestrian sports, the toll it takes on both performance and mental health, and strategies to help riders find a healthier balance.

So....what really is perfectionism?

Perfectionism goes beyond setting high goals. It’s characterized by:

Unrealistically high standards that feel impossible to meet.
Self-criticism that’s harsh and unrelenting after mistakes.
Fear of failure that leads to anxiety and avoidance.

While striving for improvement is healthy, perfectionism can trap riders in a cycle where they’re never satisfied, no matter how well they perform.

Healthy Striving vs. Perfectionism:

✅ Healthy Striving: Focused on growth, learning, and progress.

❌ Perfectionism: Focused on avoiding mistakes, fear of judgment, and tying self-worth to performance.

How Perfectionism Shows Up in the Saddle

Perfectionism can creep into every part of a rider’s routine, from training sessions to competitions:

Fear of Making Mistakes: Riders may overthink every move, afraid that one small error will ruin their ride.
Micromanaging the Horse: Trying to control every detail, which can create tension and disrupt the natural flow between horse and rider.
Negative Self-Talk: Constantly focusing on what went wrong rather than what went well.
Performance Anxiety: Feeling intense pressure during lessons, shows, or even casual rides because of unrealistic expectations.

The Cost of Perfectionism

While perfectionism might seem like a motivator, it often comes with hidden costs:

Mental Burnout: Constant pressure to be perfect can lead to exhaustion, stress, and loss of enjoyment in riding.
Decreased Confidence: Perfectionists tend to overlook their successes, focusing only on flaws, which erodes self-belief over time.
Strained Horse-Rider Relationship: Horses are sensitive to their rider’s emotions. When riders are tense, frustrated, or overly controlling, it can create confusion and anxiety for the horse.
Fear of Trying New Things: Perfectionists may avoid challenges or new experiences for fear of not excelling immediately.

Breaking Free from Perfectionism

The goal isn’t to stop caring about your performance—it’s to shift from a fear-based mindset to one focused on growth and learning. Here’s how:

1. Shift from Outcome Goals to Process Goals

Instead of obsessing over results (“I have to win”), focus on what you can control:

“I will keep a steady rhythm throughout my course.”
“I will focus on breathing deeply during my ride.”

Process goals keep your attention on the present moment and your own efforts, reducing anxiety about the outcome.

2. Reframe Mistakes as Feedback, Not Failure

Mistakes are inevitable—and they’re valuable. Every rider, from beginners to Olympians, makes them. Instead of thinking, “I’m terrible because I made an error,” try, “What can I learn from this to improve next time?”

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Talk to yourself like you’d talk to a friend after a tough ride. Would you tell them they’re a failure, or would you remind them of how far they’ve come?

Replace harsh self-criticism with kind, constructive feedback.
Recognize effort, not just outcomes.

4. Set Realistic Expectations

Not every ride will be perfect—and that’s okay. Horses have off days, riders have off days, and that doesn’t diminish your skills or progress. Aim for consistency and improvement, not perfection.

5. Use Mindfulness Techniques

Mindfulness helps you stay present instead of getting stuck in past mistakes or worrying about future outcomes.

Try a simple grounding exercise before your ride: Focus on five things you can see, four you can feel, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste.
This practice helps calm anxiety and improves focus.

Reflection Exercise: Challenge Your Inner Critic

Next time you catch yourself falling into perfectionist thinking, pause and ask yourself:

“Is this expectation realistic?”
“Would I speak to a friend the way I’m speaking to myself right now?”
“What did I do well today, even if it wasn’t perfect?”

Writing these reflections down can help shift your mindset over time.

Final Thoughts

Perfectionism may feel like it pushes you to be better, but in reality, it often holds you back. The most successful equestrian athletes aren’t those who never make mistakes—they’re the ones who learn from them, adapt, and grow.

Progress, not perfection, is the true mark of a great rider.

Call to Action:

Do you struggle with perfectionism in your riding? What strategies have helped you manage it? Share your experiences in the comments—I’d love to hear your story!